7 p.m.

Yeah... So I haven't been blogging about BCx... Not that anyone would notice, but I did feel a bit guilty when I realized it.
But actually, I wanted to talk about something else. My mom is on the phone with her sister at the moment aaaand it's 5 till 7p.m. ... And I looked at the clock and this thought that I can't shut out came to my mind.
I have it every day.
It's: "Hang up the phone, daddy is gonna call in a few minutes!"
I hate it.
I sincerely hate it.
Thinking of my dad is good and I don't plan on forgetting him and his ways and his voice, but every day at 7p.m. his absence smacks me sideways. I can't cry everyday, because I just don't have the strengh to be this sad all the time.. it's more on random times of the day that I have a thought, just a split second of a memory, and I'm out of it for the next 10 minutes.
The Yeti still owes me a hug. I asked him for one, he said he'd do it, but he never came around. Therefore, he owes me one. And every time I walk to my father's grave I wish someone would be there and hold me so I can let go for just one breath.
But no.
And I have come to realize that I will never get exactly that ONE hug that will make all the pain go away. There won't ever be a 'gone', much less when it's forced. I mean, I asked him for a hug and I shouldn't have to ask. Words don't mean sh*t if actions don't follow its course and the fact that he STILL hasn't showed up just proves it one more time that either I don't mean anything to him or that he's just like what I named him - A Yeti.

BEDA-ish

Yesterday, I made ice cream. Yes, from scratch. My strawberry ice cream had to sit in the freezer for a few hours, so when my mom and I got home from church this morning, we went straight to the freezer to try it. DELICIOUS! Not at all like store-bought ice cream, which is good too, but the homemade one just tastes healthier and more natural. I love it. The majority will go to a friend of mine for her birthday.

Movies:
I watched 'The Rite' and Anthony Hopkins did a great job resembling the devil. I always get really scared of him! All good though, it was very compelling. Stories about exorcism grip me all the time, they're sooo fascinating! Especially when they're based on true events. I have heard stories from a friend of mine who worked with an actual Exorcist before and it got me hooked. It's dangerous, I know, but still very interesting.

Tomorrow, I'm finally gonna start BCx and I am really excited for that! A little scared, too, I admit, because it's work week and I don't know how sore I will be and to what extend this will affect my job. We'll see.
BCx will be an unusual experience for me, I bet, because I've never done anything like that in my life. I tried the first mission on Friday and I'm STILL sore! ...I really need to work out more.

Word of the day is: Frauentausch, because I watched the latest episode, yesterday, and just talked about it with my aunt. Soo hilarious and sad at the same time!

Blog Every Day in April Ahhhhh

I totally forgot about you, blog. Gee sorry.
Also I'm starting late on BEDA, just like every year, and I probably won't keep up with it. Just like every year.

Sssoooo my dad kinda died and I haven't had much time or willpower to tell you about it. Yeah well, it happened the day after Valentine's Day, so it ruined that day forever. I want to leave that behind and not tell you about it right now.

The word of the day is 'Schnubbort'.
I read that in a picture comment on the facebook page of a friend of mine and it cracked me up. It's slang-german for mustache, but whereas mustache sounds snobby and french, Schnubbort makes me imagine an old man calling his dog in the park.
"Heeere Schnubbort, come here!" or "Schnubbort? SIT!"

My mom had an accident on inline skates last sunday, which led to a big bandage on her knee and now she has to give herself thrombosis shots in her stomach, because she can't bend it either way. Walking causes her pain and since limping is hard, she found an even better method to move around. SHE MOONWALKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am serious, she's walking backwards, yelling "Look Marie, Michael Jackson would be so proud of me!"
My mother is a chunk of adorable brain matter and I love her a lot.

Cheers!