April 11th

Mom woke me up, we went to church, she let me drive back home and I made her pancakes for breakfast. Since then, we've been laying around on the couch watching prison break. It's starting to bore me a bit. And gross me out, too. All this violene, man, not my style. Andy hasn't been talking to me all day, though he's online, but, I mean, seriously, eff that. I talked to Helge this morning and when he told me where he was and what he did last night, he used 'we', which I guess includes Andy, so.. who knows why Andy doesn't talk to me. I kind of expected him to call last night while walking home from some party or whatever, but nothing happened.

All I know is that I dislike this silent treatment. At least, have the guts to fight with me to have a reason for ignoring me, geez, don't just not talk to me when I have no clue why that is.
It's days like these that make me realize that, if he'd care, if he'd really care about me, he wouldn't do this. He'd at least tell me why he can't or won't talk to me. I deserve better, don't I?!

I need to bake cookies for work tomorrow.

...Okay end-of-day update, I didn't bake cookies. Crap.
Silent treatment turned out to be 'logged on, but not at home'. Yeah whatever. He talked to me like nothing happened and I played angry. I do that, because I don't want him to think that he can get away with whatever. I mean, we didn't talk all yesterday and when I wrote to him he didn't respond and didn't even apologize for it when we finally did talk, today. All he said was "hehehe I wasn't home hehehe" ... So when I'm hurt, it usually stops once he says something. Usually, it's over instantly, so let's forget about it. But I want to make him feel that he did me wrong. Which sucks on my part for playing, but also on his for doing whatever he did to deserve this. Not that it influences his behaviour in any way. Stupid boy.
Nevertheless, it didn't work, he was busy being selfish and non-apologetical.
Days like these that make me want to just leave this place.

I miss you America. I miss everything about you. There's something special about the smell of a summer breeze in Virginia, that makes me want to smell it every day for the rest of my life. It's fresh and sweet, a bit chocolatey and it reminds me of a clean baby. Clean babies smell to die for.
I miss my family there, all my (non-biological) siblings running around, host-mommy and host-daddy, my doggy, painting walls, baking, church, bingo, going to the movies with friends... The lean life of worry-free teenage vacationers. All those facts make me point my finger at America on a map and say "Home."